The Other Woman
Posted by pink on October 18, 2008
No, I was never the other woman but someone very close to me had played the part of a “mistress” for years now. She even bore him a child. I won’t go bashing women who chase married men on this post. I think each story is a case-to-case basis. I have been telling her to let go of that relationship for years now. Although I get along well with the man she is seeing, sometimes I talk to him and tell him to let go of her, that it’s very selfish of him to be wanting to be with her at the same time that he is with his wife and kids. They are 10 years or more older than me, so I cannot dictate them what to do. They are old enough to know what’s wrong but not mature enough to correct their mistakes. I always point out to them that now is the right time to stop seeing each other. But I they became too attached plus the fact that they have a baby that makes it a lot harder to let go.
The person I am referring to is not the typical bitch or slut that go after married man. She was a smart, pretty, sweet and a very wonderful person (except for the fact that she’s a mistress). The relationship had been going on for 8 years now but according to the man, his wife is still clueless about it. Although his eldest child with the wife is aware of the relationship and the kid that. I don’t really know how that exactly happened. One thing I have learned from that relationship, Most Men Would Never Leave Their Wives. Mistresses should never believe the promises that he would leave his wife but he is just waiting for the right time. Maybe you should start thinking the right thing to do at this time is to let go no matter how painful it is. I am not trying to defend the other women but sometimes there are men who just knows how to prey on women’s vulnerabilities. Maybe I cannot fully understand what you are going through, but why settle for less, why be contented with just small crumbs of attention? You owe it to yourself to move on and live your life without hiding behind the anonymity of being The Other Woman.
honie said,
aww..what can i say.. I think.. its their choice ..there’s nothing we could really do about it.. its been 8 years and they are still together..maybe they really love each other that much and they cant leave each other.. on one hand, i think the wife already knew it.. but she just ignore it.. as long as his husband is still seeing her.. haysz..one of the life’s puzzle i guess
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sasha said,
Love is a complicated emotion. And we really don’t know what a person is going through unless we find ourselves in her place. You are being a good friend by constantly reminding your friend and her partner to stop the relationship. But it is only your friend who could make that decision. I hope she will let go now when there’s still time for her to find that man who will love her without her sharing him with a wife.
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kikai said,
i really wanted to react on this im sorry if i may be saying something wrong..
those kinds of affairs are really complicated.. much more that they have a child together and even much more that they’ve been doing it for 8 years already..
honestly, i was shock in a way that… wait.. i dont know that man and im not in the right position to judge him.. but he is so unfair to the 2 woman even so with his wife.. he has been lying to her for 8 year now.. she’s making her wife stupid.. (kung sa tagalog pa tanga)
but as i said.. i know its a very complicated situation.. and i now its not easy for anyone to let go of another..
again im not in the right position to say what he should bed doing.. u said it right they are already adults they know what’s wrong… but.. atleast.. i hope he could just be honest with his wife about it..i dont know..
im sorry if im so frank about my feelings.. i hope i didnt hurt ur feelings most especially that its ur friend that is involve here.. but i cant help myself not expressing my reaction..
ps: i hope u forgive me if ever i offended you in anyway..
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pink said,
@honie, My friend is really in love with him but I hope she let’s her head reign over her heart.
@sasha, That’s what I have been telling her, get out of the relationship while she can. The longer she stays with him, the more investment it would be and the harder for her to let go. She’s a nice woman and I know some guys who like her but she’s just too stubborn. As a friend, the only thing I can do now is be there for her no matter what happens.
@ kikai, I am not offended in anyway. I think they are also aware that what they are doing is a wrong thing but they just can’t seem to let go. The longer they stay in that relationship, the more damage it would do to them and the people around them.
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cielo said,
your post brings back my bad memories wherein my husband has an extra marital affair…it really hurts me, the family that i am trying to build almost did not happen….thx God my hubby was back to his own sanity…
You are right I hope too that she let’s her head reign over her heart. She might be hurting but she will bring more happiness in the lives of the family of the guy especially the kids.
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Perky said,
I can somewhat relate to this, except that I was The Mistress Who Didn’t Know She Was The Mistress. We had been going on & off for 6 yrs. I always had that feeling that something was wrong w our relationship.
It was weird when I finally found out the truth bcoz he shared his dreams w me & yet built his life w another woman.
The reason why he never told me abt his wife was bcoz he was afraid that I would leave him. N u konw what, he was right abt that
p/s: He still cheats on her w other women & she knows abt it. I’m just glad I got out of it.
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Syari said,
As long as it doesn’t happen to me, anyone else can do what they want. Being a wife, I would of course side with the man’s wife. Would hurt like hell to know that someone you love and trust as a husband betrayed you. Unlike a mistress who would usually know that she’s the other woman, should back away. Men won’t back away. She should at least understand another woman’s feeling how it would be like to be betrayed like that. Sad really. Plenty more cases like this out there.Victim?? women. Both wives and mistresses.
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pink said,
@Perky, it’s good to know you got out of it.
I bet you are a lot happier now!
@Syari, I agree with you, “She should at least understand another woman’s feeling how it would be like to be betrayed like that.” That’s the reason why I will NEVER engage in those kind of affairs. “When you know that it’s going to the point, you should run away as fast as you could.” That’s what a good friend always tells me.
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naomi said,
what can i say? well, i have encountered men who have other women, and they are my hubby’s officemates. worst thing yet, the other woman was also an officemate of their and it has somehow created a controversy in their organization. hahaha…life talaga!
as for your friend, i commend you for being with her. what she has gone through is not easy, but she has to let go as soon as possible before everything’s too late, like having a second child or whatever…
i would also like to exlinks with you, in fact i have already added your blog on my roll…hehe
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Marc Swanson said,
chris brown is not an abuser
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